First Holy Communion

I was in second grade, and would soon be making my First Holy Communion. I was so excited, as it was a very long year since Maureen made hers. I had longed for this day for a many months, and it seemed as if it would never get here.

Before the first holy communion, however, we as a collective 2nd grade class had to have our very first Confession, in the confessional. I was intrigued. I always wondered what those little boxes looked like on the inside. They had such rich deep red drapes on the entrances, I imagined that perhaps they were like the "I dream of Jeannie" bottles on the inside and were quite opulent and decadent, and comfortable. I couldn't wait to get a look in one.

Before we could do this, however, we finally learned what an "Examination of conscience" was. This entailed a long boring quiet moment of closing our eyes, and putting our heads down, and thinking of all the things we had done to displease God. I was completely stumped. I really did not think that conning my brother William out of his two o'clock treat was THAT bad, but then again, I couldn't really say. They taught us what a mortal sin was and I knew I had never ever even thought of doing any of those things, but they left the definition of regular every day sins rather vague, I thought. So I was at a loss. I figured I'd just tell him of the few lies I'd told and maybe a few fights I'd had with my brothers. I did not want to tell Father Mullin about the box. I figured he'd throw me out of the church and tell me I was going straight to hell for that sin. I still had not forgotten the beating I had received for that.

Before we were able to make our very first penance, Father Mullin decided we had to review all of the sacraments up to the point of Penance. Basically, all we had done thus far was the Sacrament of Baptism. I was very worried about this. I had no proof at all that I had been baptized. Did my parents care enough to see that we were baptized? I asked Gran several times, but she never gave me a straight answer.

I worried that I'd have a fatal accident and go straight to hell due to not being baptized. I was convinced that it never even happened. One day, Father Mullin picked two kids from 2nd grade to participate in a mock baptism to enable us to see what happened during a baptism. I raised my hand to participate, frantic to be picked. I thought, "This is my chance to be baptized, in case it hadn't happened yet!!!" I did not want to take the other sacraments unless I had been baptized, as Father Mullin, Father Miller AND Father Dorney all said it was a mortal sin to receive the body of Christ if you had not been baptized. I did not want to commit a mortal sin.

Father Mullin picked ME!!! I was so happy. Now it would not matter if I had not been baptized, because it was about to happen for real!!! No one would ever have to know that I was not sure if I had been baptized as a baby, no one would ever suspect a thing, and I could go on to receive all of the future sacraments without committing a mortal sin!! This made all of my stresses go away until Father Mullin started off the ceremony by telling us it was only for a demonstration. I got very worried and asked him if we were still using Holy Water. He said that all of the water in the church had been blessed, so yes, we were still using Holy Water. I was very relieved and did everything Father Mullin said to do, and was very soon baptized.

Father Mullin instructed the class to write a short report about our experience, and what we had gotten out of it. In my relief, I told all that had happened, and finished up the report with, "It was so funny, it was almost as if I were being baptized again!!" For some reason, Mrs. McKee and Father Mullin found this very funny, and sent my report to the bishop. This was a great honor, but instead of being proud, I worried so much that the bishop, who was quite important and Holy, would realize from reading it that I was not sure I had been baptized the first time, and keep me from making my first holy communion.

It never happened. I was greatly relieved, and we went on to make our very first confession. I was disappointed to realize that we were not going to go into the confessional, that we were to kneel at the alter, and each of my classmates was to speak in a low soft voice to the priest. We had to start off by saying, "bless me Father, for I have sinned. This is my very first confession" Then we were to tell the priest our sins and wait for him to tell us what our penance was.

I worried that I would mess up in some way, but I did fine. I was very relieved when it was over and I could go kneel in my row and do my penance. Two weeks later I would be receiving my FIRST HOLY COMMUNION!!! I was so excited!!

The evening before my communion, Gran took me to Grant's for new underwear, socks, and shoes. She was also going to take me for a special dinner, just the two of us. I was in heaven as we walked around the store together. I never had Gran all to myself, and she was really nice to me! When we got dinner, we went to the little diner in Grant's, and ordered. I got pot roast, green beans and mashed potatoes and gravy. Gran let me order a soda!!

The dinner was so good, some of the gravy got on the green beans, and I decided that any time thereafter that I had anything with gravy, I'd dip my vegetables in it because it made them taste delicious!

The next day was my communion, and it passed in a blur. I did everything right, and we had a party afterwards. I got a Scapular medal as my gift. It was beautiful, and gold, and I was incredibly proud to wear it. It was much nicer than the cloth scapulars.

Sadly, I wore it to school the next day, and someone asked to see it, and to pass it around the classroom, and someone stole it from me. I never saw it again.

To this day I do not know who took it, but I was heartbroken for a very long time.